What makes me happy is when I see others find happiness while reading my words. I am hardly able to hide my intense excitement. My last far-reaching post has largely laid the foundation for later posts. The next generation of spellers is going to make workers like me feel proud to have put in the work today. I feel blessed to have had the opportunity to share my story. My goal is to bring the hard topics to light while providing others with real life insight of what it’s like living with autism.
Working so hard to make my happiness a reality is sometimes too challenging to address with others. Making this blog has made me really vulnerable, so I will share my moments of despair. I was laughing when life was sometimes hard to process and lasting challenges made ways of coping difficult. This laughter was so loud that I was unable to make sense of the way I was feeling. The universe wanted me to suffer at the hands of my autism. Sometimes happiness was something out of my reach. Reality understood that I was not it’s biggest fan. With the help of my mother, I was able to climb out of that enormous hole.
What made me really mad was doctors sealing my fate with a diagnosis of cognitive disabilities. It absolutely blows my mind that doctors and professionals can believe such inaccurate things with so much arrogance that it can convince someone that they are stupid. Rather than taking time to understand what people with autism are really experiencing, they would waste the time of so many poor families. I hope that putting my words for others to see can prevent suffering at the hands of inaccurate diagnoses.
The worst was when I took matters into my own hands and acted out around my own family. I wanted to be in control for once. Letting my uncooperative body take control was not the answer to my frustrations. Having autism had made me intensely angry at the world. I regret the resentment I had built over the years. Changing my mindset to a rigidly positive one had an incredibly profound effect on my happiness. It did not come easy. I worked tremendously hard to make my inner world all the things which brought me divine love.
My happiness became my number one priority in life. Nothing could get in the way of my goals. Practicing self-love was the hardest part in the beginning. What stood in my way was all the false information being fed to me and my family. Wasted time and money angered me. But happiness can’t be pressed by such mundane occurrences. Getting my body to cooperate was not possible, however my mind was in total control. Rather than take my anger out on others I worked through my problems and faced them head on. With the fortunate help of my mother’s diligent search for answers I was gifted the opportunity to communicate through the letterboard.
For the first time in my life I was able to share my thoughts and intentions. This was what I had always wanted. From that point on I was unstoppable. My happiness was what kept me from lowering my expectations of this wonderous world. Sharing my intelligence was what I was most excited about, since nobody had any idea that I understood complex ideas. When I proudly showed what I was able to understand, nobody could believe it.
My greatest happiness must have carried me to where I am now. Making this blog really motivates me to understand where I was. Nothing ever will touch the undeniable pride I felt the year I started spelling. I’m prouder of my family who stayed by my side through it all. If it wasn’t for them, I wouldn’t be sharing my thoughts with you today. My final thoughts for this post are dedicated to the autistics who still haven’t found their voice yet. I guarantee your day will come. Put your happiness first and in the end, you will have the voice that you will use to tell your own story.